By Naazi Morad Wellness Within Therapy
In the quiet corners of marriages, workplaces, friendships, and families, there exists a form of emotional violence so subtle, many don’t even know it’s happening. It doesn’t leave bruises. It leaves doubt. It doesn’t scream. It whispers, “You’re overreacting.” “That never happened.” “You’re too sensitive.” This is gaslighting. And for the oppressed, it often masquerades as someone “just having their say.”
🧠What Is Gaslighting, Really?
Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic where one person causes another to question their reality, memory, or sanity. It’s not a disagreement. It’s not feedback. It’s a slow erosion of truth.
In therapy, we see it clearly:
- The partner who denies your lived experience.
- The boss who rewrites history to avoid accountability.
- The friend who invalidates your emotions and calls it “honesty.”
- The family member who twists your words and then blames you for the fallout.
And the victim? They often interpret it as normal. As tolerance. As being fair. All the while, salt is being poured into open wounds. - Gaslighting isn’t just cruelty, it’s often a symptom of the gaslighter’s own hidden trauma. In therapy, we identify this behavior as a defense mechanism:
Fear of exposure, masked by emotional domination.
But trauma is not an excuse. It’s a context.
And recognizing the gaslighter means noticing patterns: Unhealed shame that lashes out to avoid vulnerability. Control issues rooted in childhood chaos.
Signs of Gaslighting\
Denial of facts – sounds like, “That never happened.”
Minimizing your pain – be like – “You’re being dramitic”
Shifting blame – is this familiar – ” You made me do this.”
Twisting your words – sounds like – “You said it, not me.”
Making you doubt yourself – will be like – “You’re confused again.”
Gaslighting is not a debate. It’s a distortion. And it thrives in silence.
🛑 How Therapy Stops the Cycle
Therapy doesn’t just name the demon, it teaches you how to starve it.
- Validation: We begin by affirming your reality. What you felt, saw, and experienced matters.
- Education: We unpack the psychology behind gaslighting, so you can recognize it without internalizing it.
- Boundaries: We build emotional armor. clear limits, assertive responses, and exit strategies.
- Healing: We explore the deeper wounds that made you vulnerable to gaslighting, and we tend to them with care.
And most importantly, we remind you: You are not crazy. You are not too much. You are not to blame.
🌿 A Final Reflection
Gaslighting is a thief. It steals clarity, confidence, and connection. But therapy is the reclamation. It’s the fire extinguisher. The truth-teller. The mirror that says, “You were right to feel hurt.”
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling smaller, confused, or ashamed—pause. That may not be your fault. That may be gaslighting.
And you deserve better.
