BY: Naazi Morad
There are moments in parenting that feel almost invisible: the moment you ask your child to greet an elder and they refuse. The moment they pull the cat’s tail while others awkwardly laugh. The moment they hit another child, and you say, “He’s just playful.” But here’s the truth — these moments build legacies. They shape how the world sees not just your child, but your family’s values.
And when correction is skipped, discomfort sets in. Parties. Weddings. Playdates. Invitations quietly disappear. Not because you are unloved, but because no one feels safe around unchecked behavior.
There are moments in parenting that feel almost invisible: the moment you ask your child to greet an elder and they refuse. The moment they pull the cat’s tail while others awkwardly laugh. The moment they hit another child, and you say, “He’s just playful.” But here’s the truth, these moments build legacies. They shape how the world sees not just your child, but your family’s values.
And when correction is skipped, discomfort sets in. Parties. Weddings. Playdates. Invitations quietly disappear. Not because you are unloved, but because no one feels safe around unchecked behavior.
Psychology of Avoidance: Why Some Parents let it Slide
In therapeutic language, we call this protective overidentification, when a parent is so fused with image of their child that admitting fault feels like self-betrayal. It’s easier to say, “He’s spirited,” than “He needs guidance.” Easier to laugh off rudeness than face the discomfort of discipline. Some parents feel that reprimanding their child publicly is humiliating. Others believe callout out “bad Behavorial make their child feel unloved. But the absence of boundaries doesn’t create, safety, it creates confusion.
Children thrive within containment. Clear Limits. Loving discipline. Without it, they begin leading the houshould emotionally, a psychological state known as role reversal or parentification, where the child emotionally dominates the adult space.
Is Your Child Leading The Home?
When you find yourself following your child’s moods, demands, and tone, it;s worth asking: Who hold the emotional compass here?
Does your child:
- Choose whether or not to greet people?
- Decide what meals everyone eats based on their whims?
- Speak over adults without correction?
- Refuse hygiene, spiritual practices, or simple manners, and get away with it?
- These aren’t signs of independence. These are signs of disorientation.
🙅♀️ The Myth of “Cute” Disrespect
There’s nothing cute about a child speaking cruelly to others, refusing basic manners, or creating chaos in social settings. What feels like harmless mischief to a parent often feels like emotional assault to others. Especially elders, children, or pets, the most vulnerable members of our communities.
A child who constantly hits, bites, or invades space isn’t expressing “energy.” They’re expressing unregulated emotion. And regulation is the job of the parent. Not through punishment, but through consistent correction, modeled respect, and clear consequences.
Therapists call this behavioral mirroring: children will reflect what is either allowed or ignored. If you normalize disrespect, they will replicate it confidently
👣 Being a Parent Means Leading — Even When It’s Uncomfortable
Parenting is not just feeding and sheltering. It is:
- Teaching your child to say “Hello” without a sigh.
- Interrupting them when they mock someone’s appearance.
- Saying, “You may not speak to me like that,” when their tone sharpens.
- Creating rituals of gratitude, hygiene, prayer, and timekeeping.
- Not letting them count people’s teeth while you’re talking (that one’s cheeky, but real).
This kind of parenting is not cruel. It’s clarifying. And clarity is kindness.
🕊️ Final Reflection for Parents
You may feel judged. You may feel triggered by reading this. You may be whispering: “But I don’t want my child to hate me.”
Here’s the truth: children don’t hate boundaries. They hate confusion. And when you lovingly lead, even when it feels awkward, you build a child who knows what respect looks like not just toward elders, but toward the world.
So, if your child is being rude, don’t hide behind humor.
Don’t say “That’s just how they are.”
Instead, take their hand and say, “This isn’t how we treat people. Let’s try again.”
You are not a bad parent for having a child who misbehaves.
You are a brave parent when you choose to do something about it.
