But What About You? Stop Fixing Others and Start Facing Yourself

By Naazi Morad, reflections on day to day sessions.

Here’s a truth you might not like: you are not here to fix anyone.

Yet, most people spend their lives doing exactly that. They spot someone else’s flaws, pain, or bad choices and make it their mission to “help.” In reality, what they’re doing is feeding the ego of the narcissist, empowering the abuser, or protecting the bully.

You may tell yourself it’s out of love, loyalty, or duty. But here’s the uncomfortable reality: it’s not them you’re fixing, it’s yourself you’re avoiding.

The Hidden Psychology of “Fixing”

In psychology, we call this projection. The need to correct others is often a mirror of the parts of yourself you cannot face.

• When you silence yourself but fight to make others “hear you,” you’re projecting.
• When you rescue others at the cost of your own wellbeing, you’re avoiding your own wounds.
• When you carry someone else’s chaos, it’s because you’re terrified to face your own.

The harder you try to change them, the further you drift from changing you.

The Trap of Enabling

And here’s the harsh part: by trying to fix others, you’re not helping, you’re enabling.

• The narcissist thrives because you keep giving.
• The abuser continues because you keep staying.
• The bully grows stronger because you keep tolerating.

You become a co-author in your own suffering.

The Life Coaching Perspective: The Mirror Never Lies

Every difficult person in your life is a mirror.

They reflect the exact areas you’ve neglected in yourself.

• The disrespect you allow says something about your boundaries.
• The exhaustion you feel says something about how little you pour back into yourself.
• The cycle you keep repeating says something about what you’re refusing to learn.

The mirror doesn’t lie—it just hurts to look at.

The Provocation: But What About You?

Here’s where I want to challenge you. At this cycle, stop. Ask yourself:

• Who am I actually doing this for?
• What do I gain by keeping the spotlight on them instead of me?
• Am I living my life,or just living theirs?

You are not responsible for saving anyone else. But you are responsible for saving yourself. And every minute you spend fixing them is another minute you’ve abandoned you.

So I’ll ask again: But what about you?

This is your wake-up call. You cannot wait for them to change before you decide to heal. You cannot keep making yourself smaller while you make excuses for them.

It’s time to put the energy where it belongs—inward.

At Wellness Within Therapy, I help people break free from the cycle of rescuing and enabling, and guide them back to themselves. If you’re ready to stop pouring into others while running empty yourself—reach out.

Book your session today.
Because the most important person you need to fix, heal, and love… is you

You matter!!!