My name is Dhilnaaz, 💔but many of my clients know me as Naazi. Today marks twelve years since my mother passed away. And strangely, this year feels heavier than all the others. I do not know why this twelfth year hurts more. The grief feels sharper. The ache deeper. The memory clearer. I can still feel the moment when the nurse said the words, “Your mum has passed away.”😭It was as if the air was pulled out of my chest. Time did not stop, but something inside me did. This is what loss does. It arrives in a sentence and changes a lifetime.
I have learned something important about grief over the years. Pain does not mean weakness. Pain means love. I choose to sit with this pain today because this pain belongs only to my mother. It reminds me of the woman who gave birth to me, who carried me, who brought me into this world. It reminds me that love does not disappear when a person leaves this earth. It changes form. It becomes memory. It becomes longing. It becomes a quiet ache that lives alongside life itself.
Death teaches us a difficult truth: we can and will continue living without those we lose. We laugh again. We work again. We build new days. But the mark they leave on our lives never disappears. It settles into us. Certain dates reopen old rooms in the heart. The 31st of January 2014🕚 will always carry my mother’s name. I will relive that day in some way for as long as I live. Not because I want to suffer, but because love remembers.
To anyone who has lost a parent, a spouse, a child, a sibling, or a dear friend — we often hear the words, “You must move on.” But the truth is more gentle than that. We do move forward, but we do not move away from love. In fact, with time, love often grows stronger. We miss them more deeply because we understand more clearly what they meant to us. Grief is not a straight line. Some years feel lighter. Some years feel heavier. And that does not mean healing has failed. It means the heart is still alive.
Loss connects all of us. Whether your grief is new or decades old, it reminds us that every relationship leaves an imprint. We do not grieve because we are broken. We grieve because we were blessed to love. And in that love, there is both pain and meaning. Sitting with grief is not dwelling in the past; it is honouring the bond that shaped who we are today.
My mother’s name is Rashida Morad. Until we meet again, I will continue making dua for her. I will carry her in the way I love, the way I show compassion, and the way I walk through this world. Grief has taught me that goodbye is not the end of connection. It is simply a different way of holding someone in your heart.
For those walking this path of loss, you are not alone. Your tears make sense. Your memories matter. And your love will always have a place to live.
Till we meet again, Mum. – Love you always –
