By Naazi Morad
There is a common belief that people drink because they enjoy alcohol.
Sometimes that is true.
A glass of wine at a celebration.
A beer while watching rugby.
A toast at a wedding.
For many people, alcohol remains just that—a drink. But for others…It slowly becomes a survival strategy. It becomes medicine for pain that no doctor can see. It becomes the only way they know how to silence their mind. Then one day they realise they no longer control the alcohol.
The alcohol controls them.
Addiction Is Rarely About the Alcohol
Alcohol is often not the real problem. It is the symptom. Behind the bottle is usually a story that no one knows.
Perhaps it was…
- Childhood trauma
- Emotional neglect
- Physical or sexual abuse
- Domestic violence
- Grief
- Depression
- Anxiety
- PTSD
- Shame
- Rejection
- Financial stress
- Loneliness
- Low self-worth
The drink becomes a temporary escape from permanent pain. For a few hours…The thoughts become quieter.The memories fade. The fear disappears. Until tomorrow.
Then the cycle begins again.
Why Alcohol Instead of Drugs?
Many families ask, “Why does he drink instead of using drugs?” Or, “At least he isn’t taking drugs.”
The truth is…Alcohol is a drug. It changes brain chemistry. It affects judgment. It alters emotions. It changes behaviour. Some people choose alcohol simply because it is socially acceptable.
It is legal. It is available almost everywhere. People can drink openly without immediate judgment. Yet alcohol addiction destroys lives just as powerfully as many illegal substances. The addiction may wear a different face…
But the pain underneath is often the same.
Denial: The Greatest Enemy
One of the hardest parts of addiction is denial.
You may hear things like:
“I can stop whenever I want.” – “I only drink on weekends.” – “I deserve it after work.” – “I’m not as bad as other people.” – “I still go to work.” – “My family is overreacting.”
If your family is crying… If your children are scared… If your marriage is falling apart… If alcohol is controlling your decisions… Then the problem is no longer “just drinking.”
To the Husband or Wife Living with an Alcoholic
This part is for you. The one who hides the bottles. Makes excuses. Cancels family outings. Walks on eggshells. Checks if your partner is sober before speaking. Sleeps with one eye open. Prays they won’t come home angry. You did not cause the addiction.
You cannot control it. You cannot cure it. Many spouses slowly lose themselves while trying to save someone else. Your mental health matters too. Your children need one emotionally healthy parent.
Seeking help is not betrayal.
It is courage.
To the Children
Children rarely understand addiction. Instead, they often believe:
“Daddy drinks because I’m naughty.” “If I behave better, Mommy won’t drink.” “If I keep quiet, maybe they won’t fight.” These beliefs can follow children into adulthood.
Many develop anxiety. People-pleasing. Low self-esteem. Difficulty trusting others. Fear of conflict. The effects of alcoholism often continue long after the drinking has stopped. Healing the family is just as important as treating the addiction.
Addiction Doesn’t Only Break One Person
Alcohol affects everyone. One person drinks. The whole family suffers. Children stop laughing. Spouses stop sleeping. Parents stop hoping. Trust disappears. Financial problems grow. Arguments increase.
Love slowly turns into survival. This is why addiction is called a family disease.
Recovery Is Possible
Recovery does not begin when someone quits drinking. Recovery begins when someone finally tells the truth.
“I need help.” That sentence changes everything. Healing is not about becoming perfect. It is about becoming honest. Every sober day rebuilds trust. Every counselling session builds insight. Every support meeting reminds someone they are not alone.
You Are Not Beyond Hope
If you are reading this with tears in your eyes… If you hide your drinking… If you drink before anyone wakes up… If you promise every Sunday that next week will be different… Please know this: Your addiction is not your identity. Your past does not define your future.
There is help. There is hope. And there are people who genuinely want to walk beside you without judgment.
Where Can You Find Help?
If you or someone you love is struggling with alcohol addiction, reaching out is the first step.
Some organisations that offer support include:
- Alcoholics Anonymous South Africa (AA) – Free peer support meetings across South Africa for individuals wanting to stop drinking.
- Al-Anon Family Groups South Africa – Support groups specifically for spouses, partners, parents, and families affected by someone else’s drinking.
- Alateen South Africa – Support for teenagers whose lives have been affected by a family member’s alcohol use.
- South African National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (SANCA) – Counselling, prevention programmes, outpatient services, and referrals for addiction treatment.
At Wellness Within Therapy (WWT), we understand that addiction affects more than the person who drinks.
We support:
- Individuals struggling with alcohol dependence
- Spouses and partners living with addiction
- Children affected by alcoholism
- Families rebuilding trust after recovery
- People experiencing anxiety, trauma, depression, and grief linked to addiction
Through a compassionate, evidence-informed approach, we help clients understand the emotional roots of addiction, strengthen coping skills, rebuild relationships, and move toward lasting healing.
You do not have to carry this burden alone.
Wellness Within Therapy
📍 123 Gordon Road, Northcliff, Johannesburg
💻 Online and in-person sessions available
💙 Healing begins when someone feels heard—not judged.
